Mind Crash
by Isica
Summary: After they rescue her from Somalia, Ziva experiences a breakdown. Can the team help her through it?
1. Chapter 1

Mind Crash

**Authors Note:** This story takes place directly after the Season 7 opener, and is told from Ziva and Gibbs' point of views. Italics indicate thoughts.

**GIBBS**

She was so quiet.

They had cleaned her up, given her some fresh clothing. She had silently declined to see a doctor and he knew not to push it. DiNozzo and McGee had briefly filled him in on the conditions inside the camp, and he was surprised she'd stayed alive this long. Definitely best not to push it. He could wait.

They flew back to D.C. in near silence, broken only by DiNozzo's attempts at humour, backed up valiantly by McGee. For his part, he spent the flight discreetly observing Ziva, noting how she appeared to close in on herself, as if attempting to make minimal impact on her surroundings.

**ZIVA**

_I am cold._

_I can think of nothing but that Somali prison camp and the fact that I should be dead right now. I should have died there. Why did Salim not kill me sooner?_

_And then, a rescue came, not from my father who had sent me to that hell but from those that thought I had abandoned them. My team. Bringing me home._

_But why?_

_My mind and body have been pushed to the limits of my endurance. I did not know I could stand that much torture. I think I have shattered into a thousand pieces. _

_I think I am broken._

**GIBBS**

Vance had sent a car to pick them up at the airport. DiNozzo had loudly proclaimed 'Shotgun!' whatever that meant and proceeded to take the passenger seat. He, McGee and Ziva were all squashed into the back. McGee volunteered to take the middle, and he took the seat behind DiNozzo whilst Ziva huddled into the other corner. She still had not said a word.

_I'm getting a bad feeling about this silence._

They pulled up outside the front of NCIS headquarters, near the fountain. He got out of the car and saw that DiNozzo had hurried round to let Ziva out. But just as McGee was scrambling out behind him, he heard a cry coming from the fountain.

'My necklace, it's gone!'

Tony, upon hearing a damsel in distress, immediately sprinted to the fountain to offer assistance, followed, to his astonishment closely by Ziva. He and McGee got there just in time to hear the woman say, 'The catch broke on my necklace and it fell into the fountain.'

By experience, he knew that the fountain was relatively deep and very dirty. Her necklace would be difficult if not impossible to find. However, seemingly undeterred, DiNozzo nevertheless began to remove his shoes, saying calmly, 'I'll wade in and have a look around for you...' when Ziva jumped into the fountain. She dropped to her knees, and before anyone could stop her, plunged her head under the water.

**ZIVA**

_I have always loved swimming. It's so tranquil under the surface. Since I came to D.C. I have had many more opportunities to swim than in Israel, and I have indulged thoroughly._

_I could stay down here forever. Once I run out of air, I could finish what Salim started. But first I should find the lady's necklace._

**GIBBS**

_I could vaguely see her hand groping about in front of her. Her loose black hair floated on the surface of the water. I hope she has her eyes closed; that water is definitely not clean._

She emerged from the water holding the necklace. The woman was thrilled and thanked her profusely. He could see her eyeing the water again and with a sudden foreboding, he yanked her out of the fountain, marshalled his team and marched her to the NCIS building, with a pause as she discarded her wet shoes and socks.

He looked at her as they entered the building. Her facial expression had frozen into a mask and her damp clothes clung to her like the wrappings around a corpse. Throughout all this, she still hadn't uttered a sound.

_To quote DiNozzo, this is definitely not good._


	2. Chapter 2

Mind Crash

**Authors Note:** Forgot the Disclaimer last chapter. Aaargh! I own nothing. Don't sue me.

**GIBBS**

They went up to the squad room by lift, as was traditional. He had time to notice that her feet were badly cut and that a couple of toenails were missing. At a guess, she had probably been whipped on the soles of the feet as well.

_How on earth did she survive?_

The silence seemed oppressive in the lift. He glanced at DiNozzo and saw that he was beginning to show the first signs of exhaustion. Good, that was healthy. McGee had suffered less but even he looked worn out. But Ziva ... Nothing. Her expression hadn't changed since she was freed. She looked numb with maybe a glimpse of ... resignation?

The lift door opened and they stepped out to see Ducky and Abby standing by what used to be Ziva's desk. He could see Director Vance on the overhead gallery. The driver must have called him.

As always, Abby knew just what to do. She stepped forward and gently hugged his officer. Vance began to clap as did the rest of the squad room. Ziva was back.

**ZIVA**

She was standing at her old desk watching as they discussed details of the rescue operation. Somehow they'd all slipped away from her, even Abby, who'd had to rush to the lab.

Feeling a sudden urge to walk, she waited until everyone's back was turned and tiptoed silently away.

**GIBBS**

'Where is Ziva?' DiNozzo suddenly asked.

We looked round but Ziva was gone. The other staff were settled back at their desks. Clearly none of them were with her.

The lift door opened and Vance stepped through. Seeing our concerned faces, he asked, 'What's wrong?'

'Ziva's disappeared,' I answered.

'Well she hasn't left the building. She has no pass and can't leave unescorted,' Vance replied.

'I suggest we split up, try to find her,' Ducky said. 'It would be better than to have all of us confronting her.'

'Good idea,' said Vance. 'Tony, McGee, pair up and walk that way.' He pointed left. 'Dr Mallard, go to Ms Sciuto's lab and fan out from there. She'll probably want to join you. That will be fine.'

I knew what was coming. 'Gibbs, you and I will go right.'

We split up and begin our search. But Ziva knows this place as well as any of us; how long could she hide?

**ZIVA**

I am walking, moving freely. It is a strange feeling.

I walk around the building avoiding everyone. I catch glimpses of myself reflected in the glass, and I am disgusted at my appearance.

_You are nothing! You deserve nothing!_

I round a corner and spot Tony and McGee in the distance. They see me, but I am ahead of them and double back on myself to the squad room.

_Betray your friends one last time..._

I sneak round to just under the stairs, my mind starting to drift. My legs give out and I slump down on to the sofa as Gibbs and Vance round the corner in front of me. It doesn't matter what they say. I don't care anymore.

**GIBBS**

We saw her drop on to the sofa and I was just about to castigate her on her crazy walkabout, when, to my utter irritation, Palmer suddenly walks up. Seemingly oblivious to the delicacy of the situation, he blunders in with less tact than me.

'Hey Ziva, how are you feeling?' Palmer asks. Without waiting for an answer, he continues. 'Sorry I wasn't here when you arrived, but I was on vacation with my girlfriend and we've literally just got back. You'll have to come and meet her soon.'

_When, and more pertinently how, did Palmer pick up a girlfriend?_

He hugged her. Maybe Palmer's not as stupid as he sometimes acts, because this seemed to trigger something. Ziva sits up and hugs him back. 'That will be nice,' she says softly and it takes me a moment to realise that she has finally spoken. Then I notice that Ziva's arms have slipped from around Palmer's shoulders and she appears limp. He's noticed too, because he carefully tips Ziva back, and we all see that she's unconscious.

Palmer is already gently turning Ziva around to lay her down and behind me Vance is removing his jacket so that we can rest it under her head. DiNozzo and McGee rush up at this point and I tell DiNozzo (shout, if I'm honest) to find Ducky.

'Excuse me, Agent Gibbs?'

'What, Palmer?' I bark sharply, which every single ex-wife and lover will tell you means I'm worried.

'We'll need an ambulance too. She isn't breathing properly and I don't expect Dr Mallard will be fully satisfied unless he knows she is going to be thoroughly checked out.'

'On it,' says McGee quickly and he pulls out his phone and moves away.

An ambulance. And I look over at Ziva, who is so still she could be dead.

_My poor girl, what did they do to you?_


	3. Chapter 3

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. Never have, never will.

Authors Note: Sorry for the delay. I have had APPALLING writers block.

**GIBBS**

'I've called the naval hospital,' McGee says as he strides towards me. 'They're sending someone now.' He looks down at Ziva with a face filled with concern.

'Good,' says Vance from behind me and I turn round to see his face looking almost as worried as I feel. DiNozzo and Ducky run up at this point closely followed by a nearly hysterical Abby. DiNozzo, experienced in Abby's moods, pushes her towards me as Ducky kneels down to examine Ziva.

I put my arms around Abby's shoulders. We can always tell when she's overwrought and today is one of those times. Her words are tripping over each other in their haste to escape her mouth as she runs through scenarios and intersperses them with descriptions of Ziva's condition.

'Oh my god Gibbs look at her she's barely breathing what did they do to her over there? You have to help her we all do I can't stand seeing her like this...'

Abby trails off and ends with a half-sob, half-gasp and looks ready to start again when I pull her into a hug.

'She's going to be fine Abby. We'll get her through this,' I say as convincingly as possible. I don't think she believes me.

A crowd is beginning to gather round us. Vance turns and barks at them and sets DiNozzo on dispersal while Ducky beckons me over. I hand Abby over to McGee and kneel next to him.

'Well?' I whisper.

'Jethro, how is she not dead? Forgive my bluntness but you've given me murder victims who are healthier. What kind of sadistic bastard did this to her?'

'A dead sadistic bastard,' I say grimly. 'And only Ziva herself knows what really happened.'

I gently push a strand of hair away from her eyes and study her face. She always was a petite woman but all that time in Somalia seems to have shrunk her even more.

'Agent Gibbs, look at this,' Palmer said, gesturing at Ziva's feet.

One glance at the soles of her feet immediately confirmed my suspicions that she was whipped.

'Oh dear Lord,' said Ducky. 'This is terrible.'

'The ambulance is here,' Vance interjected at this juncture.

My team watch sombrely as two paramedics arrive complete with gurney. Ducky hurries into whispered conversation with the medics and I quickly consult with Vance. We decide that Ducky and I will accompany Ziva in the ambulance and Vance would bring the others to the hospital.

I walk alongside the gurney with Ducky in a solemn parade. Ziva's face is as pale as the sheet she lies on.

The ride to the hospital is silent. Ziva never stirs from her unconscious state. I look over at Ducky and in his face I see my own fears and doubts reflected back at me. Ducky has the same look on his face as he did the time we brought Kate home in a body bag. I hope this will not be the outcome here.

We reach the hospital in record time and Ziva is whisked away with Ducky hurrying after her while I must wait behind closed doors, pacing up and down the floor.

The team arrive about half an hour later ('Traffic,' Vance tells me curtly), accompanied by Abby and Palmer and together we sit, pace or slump in the waiting area. McGee has his arm around Abby who has clearly been crying on the way here. She has tear tracks on her cheeks and I can't help but admire the fact that her makeup has stayed put. DiNozzo is whispering to her, and I have to hope it's doing her some good because he can be bloody tactless at times.

After about two hours Ducky emerges with another doctor. We pounce on him immediately and demand information.

'We've managed to stabilise Ms David's condition, however for some reason she has fallen into a deep coma. Even so, I am optimistic and I would give her a 50:50 chance of survival.'

We froze in stunned silence. 50:50? How was _that_ optimistic? A rage I haven't felt in years was pounding through my head and I had a sudden desire to slam the doctor to the ground.

Vance must have sensed my feelings (they were probably coming off me in waves) and placed a restraining hand on my shoulder. 'Can we see her?' he asked.

The doctor looked at us all, still in the clothes we had rescued Ziva in, tired, dusty and in emotional overload and wisely decided against denying us the request. 'Quickly then, and two at a time please,' he replied.

Vance and I went in first; I'll never forget it. Ziva was sprawled on her back on a bed and was hooked up to so many machines I couldn't count them all. She looked so inelegant laying there, the woman that was always graceful that I felt a compulsion to straighten her out a bit.

When I had finished, she looked better but there was no sign she had even felt my touch, let alone responded to it.

As Vance and I left the room, all I could think about was how she looked like a little frail doll, who might break if you looked at her for too long.

_Ziva, I let you down. I'm so sorry._


	4. Chapter 4

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: I wish it was. But it isn't.

A/N. I apologise for the delay in the update. But it's only going to get worse as I'm very busy at the moment.

**GIBBS**

It's been three days since Ziva was taken into hospital. She hasn't stirred yet. In fact, there's been no sign that she's aware of anything.

But to go back three days...

Once everybody had visited Ziva, the doctor asked us to leave until the following morning. I would have argued, but both Ducky and Vance's expressions persuaded me otherwise.

We were taken back to NCIS headquarters in silence and Vance ordered my team to go home and rest; he added that anyone attempting to access the building before 0900 would be barred from visiting Ziva. He also said that the hospital would not let us visit before 1000 and anyone sneaking in would not see Ziva until she came out. Git.

I got home and got into the shower. It was only as the hot water pounded my skin that I realised the adrenaline high I had ridden for hours was wearing off and I felt shattered.

Although it was only 2100, I got into bed and, worried as I was about Ziva; I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I must have been more tired than I realised. When I next opened my eyes I was surprised to see that it was 0800. I blame jet-lag. Seeing as I had an hour, I quickly got dressed and enjoyed a blissful cup of coffee, my first in nearly two days, before driving like a man possessed through the streets to NCIS.

Despite my arrival at 0902, Tony and McGee were already in. 'You too, huh, boss?' Tony asked before looking back down at his fingers. He looked heavy-eyed and about ten years older.

McGee gave me a brief nod before going back to his scribbling. I know he draws on real life for his stories, but somehow I don't think this episode will make it in there.

At 0930 (by which time I was champing at the bit) Vance descended from his office and deigned to take us to the hospital.

We entered the ward en masse and crowded around Ziva, ignoring the doctors' requests to restrict the number visiting at a time.

She hadn't moved. And I mean literally. There was no suggestion, other than her chest gently rising and falling, that a single muscle had even twitched.

_She's dying_, was the first thought that crossed my mind. And judging by the expressions on my friends' faces, they thought the same.

At last, yielding to the doctors, we retreated to the waiting room where we quickly worked out a schedule to stay with Ziva at all times, Vance having pulled rank with the doctors.

For three days we have watched her, in pairs. For three days she hasn't moved. Which brings me back to today...

My watch partner, Ducky, and I are discussing the Middle East over Ziva's bed. Well, to be more accurate, Ducky's talking and I'm listening with the occasional nod or hum. We're six hours in to an eight hour shift at the hospital and the situation is much the same (although the odds of Ziva's recovery have increased over the last few days). But slowly I'm watching my team crack under the strain, myself included. I haven't had more than four hours sleep since the first night we got back, instead immersing myself, or trying to, in my new boat. Tony has made a new friend in the shape of a soothing eye mask which he is currently using like it is glued to him and Abby is practically inhaling Caf-Pow...

'Jethro, Jethro!' I jerk upright, startled, as Ducky points to Ziva. I turn my head towards her as she opens her eyes and looks straight at me.

I take her hand. 'Ziva,' I say softly, gently, anything not to scare her.

She blinks, once. Her eyes, once dark, beautiful and vivacious, are hollow and empty. I feel a powerful desire to away this passive shallow imitation of my team member to let the real one shine through.

A doctor touches me on the shoulder and gestures for me to move away. He checks Ziva over, and then draws Ducky and me outside.

'I only performed quick check on Ms David,' he begins. 'If you want to contact your work colleagues, I will conduct the rest of the tests, which will be ready by the time they get here.' He was obviously still sore about Vance pulling rank on him.

Ducky and I phoned Vance and the team and they got here in double quick time. All the time though we had someone stationed close to Ziva – within hearing distance. And she still didn't utter a sound.

When the doctor was finally ready to give us his opinion I was very close to strangling him. I was always too impatient.

'Ok,' the doctor said at last. 'The news is positive. We've managed to stabilise all the physical injuries, the infections are almost gone, the broken ribs are on the way to knitting and the stitches are helping the cuts. But...'

'But what?' Abby unexpectedly jumps in, and I glare at her for a second. She looks taken aback, and I feel a pang of guilt momentarily.

'Well, psychologically she is suffering. She won't speak or make any unnecessary sounds or movements. She is exhibiting the symptoms of a nervous breakdown, possibly as a result of whatever trauma it was she endured.'

I laugh out loud at this last part. Possibly? More like undoubtedly.

In an irrational thought I push past the doctor and go to Ziva's bedside. I take her hand again and look deep into her soulless eyes. 'Ziva, your friends are here. We will help you, I promise.' Then Vance and the doctor are standing beside me and I allow myself to be led away.

**ZIVA**

...

I hope the delay was worth it. Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine etc.

**GIBBS**

Another successful case wrapped up. That dirtbag is going to jail for a long time.

It's been a week since Ziva woke up, and she is well on the way to physical recovery. However, we are all concerned about her mental state. She makes only the slightest of noises, communicating only when necessary through minimal gestures. Obviously she is still in the hospital, but we're hoping that will change soon, despite the fact she has no home at the moment, it being blown up earlier this year.

McGee and DiNozzo are going to visit her today. It's not a lively visit. Mostly we just talk to her and she stares at us. Abby has practically had several nervous breakdowns over Ziva's refusal to talk. Only the threat of being banished from the hospital has prevented it so far. Everyone's on edge. Everyone except, ironically, Eli David, who as far as I know doesn't yet know his daughter is alive and with NCIS.

I'm so tired; the last two weeks have been a strain on all of us. I'm going home.

I was woken up by the phone ringing. I looked at the clock. 2100. I must have fallen asleep the minute I got home.

I answered it. 'Gibbs.'

'Boss.' DiNozzo. 'We've just finished at the hospital. Can we come over?'

'Is it important?' I hate work interfering with home.

'Yes. It's Ziva.'

'Then by all means.'

'We'll be bringing Abby and Ducky with us. And coffee.'

Coffee. Good. The only way to cope with all four of them. 'Fine. Don't be too long.'

They weren't. In less than ten minutes a large group streamed through my door.

When everyone was settled DiNozzo began. 'Right, well, we went to visit Ziva and she's still not talking, so we had the usual one sided conversation...'

'Two sided,' interjected McGee. At DiNozzo's look he merely said, 'There are two of us.'

'Yes but we are one side and Ziva is another...'

'Enough!' I was bored of this.

'Anyway,' DiNozzo continued, 'the doctor came in and said she's well enough to leave the hospital tomorrow, but she needs someone to stay with her.'

'Problem is,' McGee said, 'Who will do it? She doesn't have a place anymore and not all of our houses are suitable.' He was probably thinking of his own small apartment.

'Also...' DiNozzo said, and then trailed off. But we knew what he was thinking. How could anyone cope with a silent presence in their house? It would drive you crazy. And yet...

'I'll do it,' I heard myself say and everybody jumped. I don't think they were expecting that.

The next day I was putting the finishing touches to my house before Ziva arrived. Not many people have stayed in my house since...well, a long while. Consequently some of the rooms were a bit bare. But I knew Ziva should have some audio/visual stimulation so I put a TV and radio in the spare room and got some scented candles that I know she is fond of.

I heard a car pulling up outside and through the window I saw Ducky guide a petite, huddled figure up to the front door. I had purposefully left it unlocked that morning despite my normal security instincts and the click of the door floated up the stairs followed soon after by Ducky's voice.

'Come over here my dear and sit down by the fireplace. Jethro will be here in a minute.'

We agreed not to overwhelm her as she left the hospital so the team would turn up at strategically placed points throughout the day, quietest first. So next to arrive would be McGee, followed by DiNozzo (not many people in our department were quiet), then Palmer, then Abby. Abby had protested loudly at this but been overruled. Vance would call discreetly throughout the day.

There were other reasons for this order as well. McGee, DiNozzo and I had all been in Somalia with her, and indeed DiNozzo and McGee had both been tortured with her, so we hoped she would be more likely to talk to us. As Palmer was the only one she had actually said anything to, he had insisted he had a right to be there. Besides which, I recently learned they were good friends outside of work.

I gave Ducky two minutes to get Ziva settled then descended the stairs.

'Hey Ducky, Ziva,' I said as I entered the room. You two want anything to drink?'

'Tea please, Jethro,' answered Ducky, holding up a tea bag. He's very partial to his own special blend and often carries around tea bags with him. This does present a problem however, as I don't own a teapot and Ducky insists that swilling the bag around the cup doesn't create the same flavour.

'Not a problem,' said Ducky reading my expression. He produced what looked like a giant teapot out of a bag. It had two handles and a large horizontal crack running through the middle. He pulled the two parts away from each other - and suddenly there was a teapot and cup.

'I was hoping I could leave it here,' Ducky said with a grin. 'So we never have the teapot conversation again.'

I gave him a grin in return and turned to Ziva. 'Ziva, is there anything you'd like?'

Silence.

'Oh Jethro, I have a sheet from the hospital here,' said Ducky rescuing the situation. 'Dietary requirements and so forth.'

I took it and quickly scanned the contents. Then I took the pot-and-cup with teabag in to the kitchen, made myself coffee, tea for Ducky which he would pour out himself and orange juice for Ziva.

I carried them through and Ducky hurriedly jumped up to take one off me. We exchanged pleasantries for about an hour when McGee turned up.

By 1500 everyone had arrived. But Ziva was silent, barely interacting with us. I say barely, because sometimes her eyes moved.

I've always thought that I was a tough person, someone who could rise above emotion. But seeing a team mate battle such obvious emotional pain in front of my eyes is a different thing entirely. I'm not sure how long I will be able to watch this, especially in my own front room, in a house which for her is haunted by the death of her brother Ari.

_I hope to God I'm doing the right thing._


	6. Chapter 6

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: As we move into chapter 6, I remind you, these characters are not mine etc. So don't sue!

**ZIVA**

Leave me alone. I don't deserve to be here the constant constant noise around why can't you all be quiet stop asking me questions all that torture he put me through so much torture I'm so tired...

**GIBBS**

There's no progress.

Ducky assures me there is as we're pretty sure Ziva's got some kind of internal monologue going on. However, since it seems to make her exhausted, she's sleeping through most of the day, something we're told is perfectly normal, but is hindering our ability to have or attempt to have a conversation with her.

Ziva's been at my house eight days now. I may go crazy as it's incredibly hard work talking to a silent person. The constant guessing and second guessing is mentally tiring.

Everybody comes over in not more than twos throughout the day, but it appears to make no difference. And at night, when I'm on my own, I just wish she'd show some emotion. It would at least break the ice.

Its 0915 now on the ninth day since Ziva got here. I know DiNozzo is coming at 1400, but I'm not sure about anyone else.

I go downstairs and make myself another coffee. Ziva sleeps in most days until about 1000 so I have time to work on my boat. It helps relax me for the day.

About 1030 I go to check on Ziva. She's awake and is lying there, very still.

'Hey Ziva, how are you feeling today?' I say cheerily.

No response.

Would you like anything to eat? I'll get you some cereal and juice.'

Silence.

The conversation continued like this until DiNozzo arrived. I never thought I would be glad for company. He also brought McGee with him who was carrying his laptop.

'Boss, can we talk to you for a sec?' DiNozzo asked almost as soon as he got in the door. Without waiting for an answer, he and McGee pushed me into the kitchen, out of Ziva's earshot.

'Boss, we've been thinking,' DiNozzo began, 'Ziva doesn't seem to be making any significant progress. We can only give snatches of attention between paperwork.'

'We were wondering,' said McGee, 'if she would benefit from our whole focus for a while. We spoke to Ducky and he agreed with us.'

'So,' DiNozzo finished, 'we have booked this.' And he opened McGee's laptop.

The picture displayed was of a huge "cabin"-effect house near a forest. It had a lake in the background and looked very peaceful. Then what DiNozzo had said hit me.

'You booked it?' was all I could manage. DiNozzo nodded. 'Yep. For a week. Agreed it with Vance too. Just about cleaned us out,' he said, nodding over at McGee, 'but it was worth it.'

I felt a great sense of pride at the dedication and loyalty of my team hearing this. They may bicker like children but their ties to each other are absolute.

We went back to Ziva and announced the news. Her demeanour remained the same and there was no outward sign she had even processed the news. I busied myself packing a suitcase to last Ziva and I a week. DiNozzo and McGee quickly left, after sorting out supply lists with me. Unfortunately, Ducky and Abby could not be spared from NCIS until later in the week, but they promised to come then, Palmer having volunteered to cover autopsy.

A week with only DiNozzo, McGee and a silent, traumatised Ziva? I can hardly wait.

**ZIVA**

So much torture so much torture so tired leave me alone don't carry me away with you I don't deserve you...


	7. Chapter 7

Mind Crash

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the delay in updating, but when you have a full time job it tends to throw off the time for inspiration!

**GIBBS**

We pulled up at the cabin about midday. DiNozzo was driving with McGee in the passenger seat. Normally we'd have got there sooner because I would drive but I didn't want to leave Ziva alone in the back with either Tony or McGee.

I say cabin, but to be honest it was a house. A big house. No wonder it cleaned them out. As a gesture coming from DiNozzo, it didn't surprise me.

We walked into the cabin and I was pleasantly surprised at the decor. Maybe not specifically to my taste but definitely more appealing than some of the crap my ex-wives had.

My arm encircling Ziva, we guided her to the living room and gently seated her in one of the comfy looking chairs. Her traumatised eyes stared blankly ahead but I was sure there was definitely more life behind them than previously.

Tony and McGee unpacked the car while I stayed with Ziva. Not having anything else to do I started talking once again about the months she had been away. I had started this in the nine days that Ziva had been staying with me.

That afternoon, we got settled in and went for a walk in the surrounding area. We didn't get very far because although Ziva can walk, her feet haven't completely healed yet. So it was merely a small circular route. We went through the forest and up to the lake's edge. There was a large rock at the water that would be perfect to fish from. I think this place could be just what Ziva needs.

In the evening Tony cooked a barbeque which was surprisingly tasty, and we stuffed a good amount of food down Ziva before retiring to bed around 2300.

0300

I was awoken by a soft banging sound. Silently, I crept out of my room and along to Ziva's knowing in my gut that the noise was coming from her.

As I entered the room my heart sank. She was tossing and turning in her bed, her arms flinging out every so often, smacking the bed beneath her. Although no sound emanated from her lips, the look of terror on her face was enough to confirm she was having a nightmare.

'Ziva,' I whispered softly as I edged over to her side. 'Ziva, calm down. You're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you.'

She ignored me and her breathing became faster, shallower. I tried again. 'Ziva, Salim is dead. You are safe.'

**ZIVA**

'_You think that hurt? Feel this,' Salim says as his men tie me to a table. He picks up a whip. It is thin, and when he moves it the air whistles. He raises his hand above his head, and slams the whip down on my feet. The skin splits, my nerves scream and eyes roll back in pain. Then, 'Ziva, Salim's dead. You are safe.'_

_If only that were true._

**GIBBS**

She relaxed, and her distress looked less pronounced. I can't stop her having nightmares, but I waited approximately twenty minutes with her before going back to bed.

We carried on in this fashion for four more days. However the difference was that although she still had nightmares, during the day she was bombarded by three people saying how much they loved and cared for her. It began to make a change too. Ziva started to walk around the house independently and even pick up a fork to eat occasionally. But she was unable or unwilling to communicate, either by gesture or speech. And, to be honest, we were running out of time.

We started taking Ziva on walks around the forest, ending up at the rock by the lake. She seemed to like it there. I am becoming attuned to her feelings by how blank her eyes are. They were less blank when sitting on the rock, looking at the lake. We tried to maximise our time there and if Ziva noticed, she didn't say.

One morning, I woke up at 0700 (late for me). When I went into Ziva's room to check on her, which I did every day, it was empty. Thinking that she was downstairs with Tony (not uncommon), I went to the living room. When one glance revealed only Tony and McGee, I began to panic.

'Where's Ziva?' I demanded.

'Last time I checked, she was in her room, asleep,' Tony answered. Looking up at me, he continued, 'She's missing?'

Repressing the urge to smack him, I replied as calmly as I could. 'Yes. She's missing. We need to find her.'

'I'll check the house,' McGee said, getting to his feet. 'You two go outside.'

'I'll check the forest, Boss, you take the lake,' DiNozzo added.

'Good idea,' I replied. Picking up my phone, I added, 'Call me if you need me.'

'Will do, Boss.'

I raced to the lakeside. I knew it was the only place Ziva would have gone.

I spotted her sitting on the rock. She looked quite peaceful and I realised it was now or never.

Carefully I took her by the shoulders. 'Ziva, please, talk to me. We will help you. Just look at me. You can do this. You can trust us. We will always come back for you.'

Slowly, slowly, she lifted her head. I hardly dared breathe.

**ZIVA**

The blackness still engulfs me, threatens to drown me. I feel like I am fighting to the surface, and I'm terrified.

I don't think I can do this, but I know that I have to, to survive, to become me once again.

Slowly, slowly, I raise my head. I look him in the eyes. For the first time since Somalia, he swims into complete focus.

'Gibbs?'


	8. Chapter 8

Mind Crash

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**GIBBS**

To quote Abby, 'Oh my God.' This is a crucial moment and I MUST NOT SCREW THIS UP. Taking a deep breath, I answered her.

'Hi Ziva, welcome back.'

I sat down on the rock next to her and took her hand. Ducky and DiNozzo say I'm incredibly tactless and this is one occasion I might be willing to agree with them. However, this is not the time for that. Ziva needs me.

'How're you feeling?'

Even as I say it I mentally slap myself upside the head. How idiotic a question is that anyway? She's been tortured and traumatised for the past few months, am I expecting a happy grin and skipping?

**ZIVA**

'How're you feeling?'

Good question. I am feeling, that's a beginning, I think. There is no one overriding emotion in me. I can focus on Gibbs, and Gibbs only. One thought at a time.

'I, I, I...'

No thought is forming.

'Take your time Ziva,' he says to me gently, as though he can sense the internal battle I'm having.

I take a deep breath and state the only thought that could begin to describe me now. 'I am here, Gibbs.' I hear myself saying. It sounds strange, as though I am hearing it from underwater. But once I've started, it seems easier to continue, like learning to say thoughts again after losing your voice. 'It's hard to explain...I can't...' Although I can now talk, the words aren't coming.

Gibbs startles me by gently putting his arms around me and enveloping me in a hug. As he is not normally a demonstrative man; this catches me off-guard. And when he whispers into my ear that everyone is here for me, my NCIS family will help me recover, every emotion I've repressed comes flooding back, from as far back as the first day I was kidnapped. It is all too much.

**GIBBS **

I have seen Ziva in many different moods. But I have never seen her struggle for words and my hug surprised me as much as her. When I whispered how much she means to us, I never anticipated her reaction.

She burst into tears.

I didn't think Ziva cried. But she was in my arms violently sobbing, holding on to me for dear life and all I could do was hold her and comfort her.

After about ten minutes, she still hadn't quite finished crying and she was beginning to shake from the storm of emotions. Making a decision, I stooped and picked her up – she was always slight and she had lost a lot of weight recently – and carried her back to the cabin. Ziva struggled against me initially but she had no resistance left in her and I think she was drained from her outburst. At any rate, after the first five seconds she simply laid her head on my shoulders and slumped with her eyes half closed.

When I got back to the cabin McGee and DiNozzo ran out to meet us and bent over Ziva anxiously. 'How is she?' DiNozzo demanded.

Ziva's eyes were now fully closed and I'm guessing she fell asleep on the way back. I pushed past and put Ziva on her bed. Then, grabbing coffee, I joined Tony and McGee and updated them on the latest developments.

'She talked?' McGee said in disbelief. 'Not that I'm not relieved boss, but why then and not before?'

'I don't know. All I do know is she's talking and we have to keep her talking so she can continue to mentally recover from what's happened.'

A creaking from upstairs alerted us to the possibility that Ziva was awake and we bolted upstairs as one.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed looking tired but more alert than we had seen her for weeks. She looked up as we walked in – a good sign, it was something she hadn't done since we retrieved her from Somalia – and looked us in the eyes.

'Hey Ziva,' I said quietly and carefully sat down next to her. She didn't turn her head, but instead looked at McGee and DiNozzo.

**Ziva**

I feel worn out with emotion, but I have to speak to Tim and Tony, two people who sacrificed so much for me. Both arranged to get themselves kidnapped, both were beaten and Tony was injected with truth serum. But more than that, both refused to believe I was dead until they saw for themselves. They saved me when my own father didn't, or wouldn't, and when I had left them to return to Israel.

I open my mouth to tell them this, but the words fail me. In the end I speak the only words that I can transmit.

'Thank you.'

I manage a smile, or what passes for one anyway, as Tony sits on my other side and McGee kneels in front of me. Tony puts his arms around me and McGee rests his hand lightly on my knee and the other on my shoulder. At that moment, words are not needed as we hug. They know what I am thanking them for and I do not need to describe what they rescued me from.

Gibbs is smiling at us and I smile back. He was right. These people are my family.

**Gibbs **

She's smiling. Ziva's smiling. I think this is a turning point. I am so proud of how far she's come today. Of course, I am not as naive to think that this is it, and she is fine now. It doesn't work like that. It's time for her to see Ducky and Abby, so that she can get used to the rest of her family again.

Was it worth the wait? Review please!


	9. Chapter 9

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

**GIBBS**

Ducky and Abby have arrived to visit Ziva. This cabin is huge; it will fit us all comfortably despite there being six of us now.

As they get out of the car Tony goes to greet them. Although Ziva has made great progress since the breakthrough the day before yesterday, she had another bout of nightmares last night and consequently is a bit nervy this morning. To be honest I think it unsettled us all last night. She was screaming so loudly in her sleep and begging Salim to stop hurting her that DiNozzo visibly welled up and McGee was shaking slightly. I felt nothing but hatred for Salim again and gratitude that I put a bullet through him myself.

Therefore at the moment, we are keeping Ziva quiet and making sure at least two of us are with her at all times. We have pre-warned Ducky and Abby of this prior to their arrival as Abby's natural exuberance can be overwhelming at the best of times. It would be awful if Ziva were to reject Abby even if it were for the simple reason that she couldn't cope with her in her present state.

They've entered the room now. Abby is subdued in her usual black and clutching her vintage suitcase. Behind her are Tony and Ducky; Ducky complaining about the journey as usual. He greets Ziva warmly, a hand on her shoulder and kisses her on the forehead. She manages a smile and a nod. Then Abby comes up. She sits downs in McGee's vacated chair and rummages around in her bag. She produces a velvet box and holds it out to Ziva.

'Um, Ziva, last time I saw you... well anyway, this is for you.'

She clicks open the box and I see inside.

A Star of David.

Ziva stared at it, stunned as Abby removed it from the box. It's on a fine silver chain and I realised with a start that Ziva hasn't had hers on since we rescued her. But hers was a gift from her late mother, how will Ziva react?

Abby probably sensed the growing tension in the room and started babbling about how she'd seen it was missing from around Ziva's neck although she never took it off so it must have been taken and because it was so important to her she'd searched until she'd found a new one...

Ziva hugged her.

When I say hug, I mean she flung her arms around Abby, who started slightly in surprise, then clutched her tightly. It was almost a sequel to the hug in the squadroom. I caught Ducky wiping away a surreptitious tear.

**ZIVA**

When Abby pulled out the box, I'd guessed it was jewellery. After all, it comes in a standard box. But when she opened it, I think my heart stopped. For an instant I remembered Salim yanking the necklace from my throat and throwing it to the floor. He'd taken a hammer and taken great pleasure in smashing it to pieces in front of me before running the jagged pieces across my cheek.

'Your God won't save you now,' he'd snarled before dropping the shattered pieces all around me. The broken necklace mirrored my shattered faith.

That Star was a gift from my mother and now, another member of my family was helping me restore my faith by presenting me with a symbol of their dedication. There was no way I could adequately express in words how I was feeling. But if I've learnt anything over the last few days, words aren't always important.

So I hugged her.

She must have been surprised, because she jumped, then hugged me back, whispering so that only I could hear just how much she'd missed me. I felt damp on the back of my neck and realised she was crying silently. I pulled back from her, concerned. She smiled and said, 'I'm okay! I'm just so glad you're feeling better!'

McGee laughed and offered to show Abby and Ducky to their rooms. They went upstairs and I was alone with Tony and Gibbs.

'Gibbs, could you put this on for me please?' I held out the Star of David.

He took it and I held up my hair while he fastened the clasp. As the pendant hit my neck a feeling of security rushed over me and I closed my eyes.

'Ziva?' Tony said. 'Are you okay?'

I considered this for a moment. 'No. But I'm going to be.' I twisted round to face Gibbs.

'And that means I won, and Salim lost. He can rot in hell.'

**GIBBS**

I'm so proud of her.

Worth the wait? Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

Mind Crash

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

**ZIVA**

It's been a week since we got back from the cabin, and I have been fortunate enough to get back to my own apartment which, I discovered, Director Vance had been kind enough to redecorate and rescue much of my undamaged items from storage to furnish it with.

I am alone in my apartment this evening, reflecting on the events of the past few months. From Rivkin my friend, to Israel and Somalia, and my rescue by NCIS.

I did not expect Tony to be seated opposite me when they pulled off my hood. They had told me it would be the man who would kill me and in a sense they were right. I would have given up my life for him. And McGee. When Salim dropped to the ground with a bullet through his body, my sense of certainty about the world crashed yet again. It was too much for me after all the torture; I recognise that now.

What astonishes me most is that Tony, McGee, Abby and even Gibbs banded together to track me down and rescue me with no information or input from Mossad or my father. He could have at least told them where I was and he chose not to. I wonder if he is aware that this may have cost him another daughter.

Gibbs has done so much for me; I am so grateful to him for everything.

Anyway, there goes the doorbell. Tony and McGee are picking me up to meet Gibbs, Abby, Palmer, Ducky and Vance.

I'm going out for a meal with my family.

Authors Note: This is it. The End! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me despite the lengthy delays. Now please review and your jobs are done. Isica x


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